On Friday, July 16, 2010 our lives were unexpectedly turned upside down. My wife was admitted to the hospital when her water broke prematurely 23-1/2 weeks (about 5 months) into her pregnancy. It’s a rare occurrence called PPROM or “Preterm Premature Rupture of Membranes.” The literal bubble around our baby was permanently compromised. My wife had no previous symptoms that indicated she was a candidate for PPROM, and our OB told us that we’d probably never know what caused it.
We were informed us that the goal was to delay the birth of the baby for as long as possible. However, several things, all out our control, could arise without much notice that would necessitate birth by emergency c-section. We were given a laundry list of possible scenarios that we could encounter, many of them horrifying. In most cases, women who have PPROM give birth within a few days, and most babies born at 23-1/2 weeks do not survive, and of those that do, many have serious long-term problems. It was quite a shock to realize what we were up against.
Aside from following our doctor’s orders, there’s really nothing we could do but hope for the best. My wife was placed on hospital bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy, however long that would be. The best-case scenario we were given was making it to 31 weeks. But even that would be 6 weeks preterm, and we were faced with the reality that the baby would likely spend a long time in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.)
We were left to figure out how we were going to get through this as a family. While my wife was suddenly on bed rest, possibly long term, I suddenly became like a single parent. We are grateful to have a wonderful six-year-old daughter, and she was really looking forward to being a big sister. Days before this happened she felt the baby kick for the first time. And she would frequently talk or sing to her future sibling in my wife’s belly. We knew that explaining to her what was happening was going to be tricky.
Our daughter was scheduled to be at a sleepover with her cousins that weekend. So we arranged for the sleepover to begin a day early, which gave my wife and me a couple of days to ourselves before we had to deal with our daughter. In general, our daughter hates when Mommy or Daddy is away, even if it’s just for one evening, so we were really worried how she’d react to Mommy not being able to come home. Our OB advised us to tell our daughter that Mommy will be fine, but needs to stay in the hospital because it’s the best thing for the baby. And so that’s what I told her when I picked her up from her sleepover, and we immediately went to visit my wife in the hospital. She seemed to be fine at first, but when it dawned on her what was going on she broke down. She kept asking why Mommy couldn’t come home, and I kept repeating what our OB had told us to tell her. She asked if she could stay in the hospital with Mommy, but that wasn’t practical and was against hospital rules. I repeated that Mommy needed to stay in the hospital because it’s the best thing for the baby. Finally she said tearfully, “Otherwise the baby will die?” It broke my heart to hear her say that. I didn’t want to lie to her. After a long pause, I told her we hope that doesn’t happen. She was old enough to figure some things out, but not old enough to know how to cope. Then again, I’m not sure I was coping well with things.
I went home with my daughter that evening, not sure of many things, but sure that this was going to be by far the toughest thing our family had ever faced.
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